As Fairfield County continues to wait out Old Man Winter’s inevitable demise, we look ahead to some of the hottest fashion trends for spring:

  1. • Shoes: They’re not just for your feet anymore! Take your look into the 21st century and boldly wear your shoes where no woman has before — on your head. No more dated dressing and backward thinking. Let your imagination — and your footwear — run wild. You’ll definitely turn heads when you turn the tables on your Manolos. They’re too beautiful to hide under café tables any more.
  2. • Leave the lights off: Getting dressed in the dark takes spring style to a whole new level. Worrying about coordinating tops and bottoms is so last year. Stumble blindly into your closet and let your groping hands be your guide. Dress yourself in the dimmest of lights, then smile as you emerge to whispers about the fashion-forward genius you display by pairing your madras button down with the mango bridesmaid’s dress your sister-in-law so expertly chose.
  3. • Tan on: No need to wait for the sun to make the scene. There’s no reason to even wait the hours or days for your bottle tan to emerge. Just grab a few dozen orange Crayola markers and get to work. Friends will still be busy covering their pasty limbs with sleeves and slacks while you proudly sport your new burst of color under your skinniest spaghetti straps. Tip: Use the washable markers for a quick-fix temporary tan.

Happy April Fools Day, fashionistas! Enjoy the jokes today, but remember: There’s nothing funny about a fashion faux pas. Dress wisely. And please, leave the orange markers to the kids.

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